Laugh station stuff: Listing some of the guest's complaints during the season. From Jenny. Thanks.

JENNY

LAUGH STATION

From Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guest's complaints during the season.

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts"

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry I don't like spicy food at all."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

5. A tourist at a top African game lodge over looking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. "The beach was too sandy."

8. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

11. "We bought' Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

13. "There was no egg slicer in the apartment..."

14. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish..."

15. "The roads were uneven.."

16. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

17. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

18. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

19. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

20. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

21. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

22. "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

23. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Comments

[Murph]

Jenny, don't know where you found these, but they're a hoot. LOL!!

[Bettyjane]

And you know the really sad thing is these comments are undoubtedly TRUE. (I know when I go out for Indian I invariably hear some moron telling the waiter that they dislike spicy food.)

Thanks for this!

[Jenny]

You're right! I've heard some unbelievable comments from tourists when I've travelled abroad - specifically eateries in Spain and France, it's embarrassing. Also some tourists with a Celtic complexion who stagger off the Costa or Mallorca beaches after a long lay out looking like cooked lobsters or shrimps and then having to get treated in the local hospitals, fortunately the staff don't need the language to know what the painful problem is! Mind you, I could forgive one of our elderly gents mistaking a bidet for a footbath in a Paris hotel!

[M]

When reading the headline and before I read the post, I thought there'd been some eavesdropping on guest complaints during the U.S. Open season. Because I certainly heard some doozies. :-)

P.S. #19 is killing me. Killing me. Wait till they check their map and figure out where they are, LOL.