The Philosophy of Ambiguity. From Manal. Thanks.

MANAL

Hi all, its been a while since we see some good jokes on TP's wall, so here I am sharing this one with you lot. I got it from a friend of mine on facebook:

The Philosophy of Ambiguity
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 THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY ( as well as the idiosyncrasies of English)

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR!

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?'
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS?
ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. If A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS:
THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRY DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Comments

[Jenny]

LOL Loved them, thanks Manal!

[Bonnie]

This was so good, I loved them all too Jenny! Where do people get these things from anyway! LOL!

[Manal]

The pleasure is mine :-D

[Sol]

Lol, I actually asked my colleagues about No. 4...

Thanks Manal.

[DSG]

I particularly like 14.

Thanks Manal!